Explicitly Yours Series Read online

  Johnny pulled out and slid himself up between her cheeks.

  “Johnny—”

  “Please, babe. Just for a minute. I need this.”

  “No,” she said. She had no interest in anal, especially when Johnny was like this.

  He breathed out some complaint she didn’t catch and was inside her again as if he’d never left.

  Beau had been planted in her mind, though—his flirtatious, lopsided smile.

  His sexy red tie, sexy five o’clock shadow, sexy, sexy, sexy—and she was so sure he had a nice, big cock to back up that suggestive grin.

  Oh, God. Yes.

  Maybe he’d even wear his suit while fucking her from behind, too eager to bother undressing.

  Yes! Just like that.

  He’d pull her hair and tell her how badly he’d wanted her from the moment he’d laid eyes on her.

  Lola toppled into a viscous climax as Beau’s image seared into her memory. Almost as quickly, guilt flooded in. Johnny didn’t last much longer.

  After he’d come, he smoothed a hand over her backside and up her back. He squeezed her shoulder. “You good?”

  “Yes,” she said. She was breathless, not from her orgasm, but because she’d never thought about another man while she was with Johnny. Ever.

  When he pulled out, she practically ran to bathroom. She locked the door behind her, turned and confronted herself in the mirror. It was a serious crime, yes. But it wasn’t even her fault. Johnny had brought Beau into bed with them. There were worse things. She was only human. In the desperate moments before an orgasm, there were no rules. It was what she’d needed to cross the finish line—the thought of Beau inside her. Her sensitive clit was already throbbing again.

  She forced herself to calm down so she could return to the bedroom. Johnny sat with his back against the headboard and his long legs extended in front of him. He knew. The look on his face said everything. He had to know she’d been thinking of Beau in their most intimate moment.

  “So if he was flirtatious with you before I met him, that means he had his eye on you from the beginning,” Johnny said. “Right?”

  Lola hid her relief that he didn’t suspect she’d been fantasizing. She took a tentative step toward the bed. This was a conversation best had once they’d slept on things, but Johnny didn’t look like he wanted to wait. “I guess,” Lola said. “Unless he was just there looking for anyone.”

  “What about your dart game? Did he say anything then?”

  She rolled her lips together and shook her head.

  “Because he made a weird comment during pool that I ignored, but now it makes more sense.”

  “What comment?” Lola asked, edging closer and sitting at his feet.

  “He asked if I kept Amanda around to make myself feel good. Right in front of her.”

  Lola caught her laugh before it escaped. It reminded her of something Veronica would say if Lola’d ever let her. It became less funny, though, when she wondered what would make an outsider like Beau even ask that. “Amanda does flirt with you,” Lola said.

  Johnny shrugged. “It’s Amanda. She’s just like that. You’ve said it doesn’t bother you enough to get rid of her.”

  “It doesn’t, because I know you. I know us. Give me the same credit, and don’t hold me to a double standard about the flirting.”

  He waved a dismissive hand. “Amanda’s harmless. I wouldn’t even notice if she stopped showing up for work, except that we’d be one person short.”

  “So Beau made a couple harmless comments too. I can handle myself. You were nearby if I needed you.”

  “You’re comparing him to Amanda?”

  Lola sighed. “Just to show that it was no big deal until it was. So what’d you say when Beau asked you that?”

  “I said no, I keep her around because she’s a good waitress. Then he looked at you and said I already had the best waitress around, so why the fuck would I need anyone else? He actually said fuck, like he was pissed or something. Amanda sulked, then it was my turn to shoot and that was the end of it.”

  “I don’t get it,” Lola said, shaking her head. “Nobody in their right mind would pay that much for one night of anything, even sex. Do you think he was being serious?”

  Johnny sat forward on the bed. “He wanted to get laid. He’s got money to burn. Must’ve figured we were hard up for cash and low on decency.”

  No matter how Lola looked at it, it didn’t add up. A man like that wouldn’t have any problem getting women. Even if he did, there were not-so-secret secret call girl services for men with his kind of money. She’d known a girl or two who’d been through that. “Maybe he has a very specific taste,” Lola murmured.

  “For what?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe I’m his type.”

  Johnny had calmed down. She could sense it with him, but it never took him long to return to his easygoing self. He held out his hand and beckoned her. She moved to sit on her knees next to him.

  “You know I think you’re the most beautiful girl in five states. I see the way guys look at you when you’re waiting tables. Great figure, nice tits.”

  “Nice?”

  “Incredible, babe.”

  “What’re you getting at?” she asked.

  “Nothing. I just don’t think that’s enough to pay for one night what I don’t even make in a decade.”

  Lola finally pinpointed what’d been bothering her on the ride home—Beau’s insinuation that Johnny could put a dollar amount on Lola. He’d suggested a counteroffer as if one existed and they just hadn’t found it yet. “How much would you say I’m worth then?” Lola asked.

  Johnny took her arm and pulled her forward. She leaned in for a more intimate moment than they’d had all night. “Don’t take it that way,” he said, kissing her once on the lips. “I respect you too much to even answer that.” He kissed her again and lay back on the bed, getting under the covers.

  “It’s a lot of money,” she said quietly.

  He fluffed his pillow. “I know you’re worried about Hey Joe, but it’ll all work out. I bet you Mitch gets cold feet and ends up not selling.”

  Lola stayed where she was, staring at the wall by the bed. He sounded so confident, but she didn’t share his optimism. During the last few conversations she’d had with the owner about Hey Joe, stress had etched his face. “Johnny, did you ever think about buying the bar?”

  “Guess so, here and there. Kind of feels like mine already. But never seriously or anything.”

  “That’s the best of both worlds,” Lola said. “You get the bar you love, and you don’t have to start from the ground up.”

  “It’d be like owning a piece of history,” Johnny agreed. “Rock ’n’ roll history. We could get it back to what it was, you and me.”

  Lola glanced down at him. “What’s the first thing you’d do?”

  “I’d work my ass off to get good music in there again. Maybe serve some food. Open earlier in the day. People in the door, no matter what it took.”

  She smiled at him. She liked the times where Johnny got caught up in something bigger than their life. “You could run that place with your eyes closed.”

  “With you by my side, sure could.” They grinned at each other, sharing the same dream. It faded from Johnny’s eyes. “What’re you saying, Lo?”

  “I don’t know. Mitch hasn’t bothered with the day to day for so long that, like you said, sometimes the bar feels like ours. But I never imagined actually owning it until tonight. I didn’t think it was a possibility for us.”

  “And what, it is now?” he asked.

  “No,” she said emphatically. She got under the covers too and snuggled against his side. “I told you my dad loved bikes. He used to collect Harley gear for the day he’d own one. I promised I’d buy him one when I got older. That was before he left, obviously. Sad thing is, even if I could buy him one, I wouldn’t know where to find him.” She paused, tracing one of the tattoos on Johnny’s chest. “I’ve neve
r made someone’s dream come true. Or given them anything.”

  “You made my dream come true.”

  She looked up at him. “I did?”

  “I have you, don’t I? That’s something money can’t buy.” He smiled and smoothed his hand over her hairline. “Don’t worry, babe. We’ll figure something out.”

  “But by then, Hey Joe might not be around anymore,” Lola said. They’d been figuring things out since they’d started dating. Lola still thought about going back to school some day. Some day, Johnny would propose. They’d talked about having kids some day when they’d saved more and could afford things like a bigger apartment.

  Starting a business didn’t fit into any of that. It occurred to her that though Johnny wanted those things, he wouldn’t go after them. He would wait for them to happen to him or for Lola to tell him it was time. Her role was to move them forward, a reality she’d conveniently ignored—until Beau had opened her eyes to it. If neither of them did anything, they’d be in this bed ten years from now, wondering why they didn’t have the things they’d always hoped for.

  Lola switched off the bedside lamp, turned back and kissed his chest. “It’s stupid, but right after my dad left, I thought if I could just get him that bike, he’d come back. Like me plus a bike would be enough for him.” She looked up at him. “Is this enough for you? If we never got further than where we are right now?”

  He was quiet.

  “Johnny?” she asked.

  No answer. He’d fallen asleep.

  4

  Lola heaped potato salad onto Mark’s plate. He looked at it, then back up. “That it?”

  “You know the rule. Nobody gets seconds until everyone’s had a helping.”

  “Six growing men at this picnic table, Lola.”

  She rolled her eyes. “If any of you are still growing, it’s sideways, not up.”

  He pulled on his belt with his free hand and grinned. “Come on, Mama. Give your second favorite man a little extra love.”

  “You want more potato salad, walk your ass over to Pavilions and get it yourself. Next!”

  Mark muttered as he went around Lola to sit down.

  Johnny and his friends played football in the park some weekends while Lola and a few other wives and girlfriends set up food for afterward. It was a good spot, even for busy afternoons, with a playground nearby for the kids.

  Johnny stood quietly with his plate between them as Lola served him.

  “Everything all right?” she asked. Their morning had been normal despite their unusual night. Neither of them had brought up Beau or his offer. Johnny had even been in high spirits for football. During the game, though, Lola had looked over at a commotion and seen Johnny arguing with Mark before spiking the football hard into the grass.

  “I’m fine.”

  “You mad because your side lost?” He wasn’t a sore loser, but it was the only plausible reason for his shift in mood.

  “I said I’m fine.”

  “Okay.” She smiled and scooped him more potato salad. “A little extra for my man,” she said. “Don’t tell Mark.”

  “Thanks, babe,” he said and pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head.

  Lola sat across from Johnny once she’d made herself a plate. Mark gestured as he told everyone about the harrowing adventure of taking his six-year-old son to the mall. They’d gone to find his wife a birthday present, only to go home empty-handed because his credit card had been declined.

  “Maybe that’s because you’re at a picnic in the middle of a workday,” Johnny said.

  “Shop’s closed for renovations this weekend, asshole. You calling me out in front of my wife?”

  “Now, now, boys.” Brenda smiled. “Mark and Kyle ended up surprising me by setting up the Slip ’N Slide in the backyard. We played in the sprinklers all day. Couldn’t have asked for a better birthday.”

  Mark put his arm around Brenda’s shoulders.

  Johnny winked at Lola. He held up a forkful of potato salad before cleaning it off in one bite.

  Mark’s son ran from the playground to the table. He stuck his shoe on the bench. “Tie,” he demanded.

  “Kyle, why don’t you show everyone how you’ve been learning to tie your own shoes?”

  “I don’t want to,” Kyle said.

  “I’ll do it, buddy,” Lola said. Kyle ran over to her. She snuck him a smile as she fixed his shoe. “You know how to do this, don’t you?”

  “Yeah.”

  “So I’ll tie this one, and you can show me how you do it on your left shoe.”

  “But that one’s not untied,” he said.

  Lola reached down and yanked one of the laces. “There you go.”

  “Lola,” he cried out, raising his arms in the same exasperated way his dad often did.

  “Come on,” she said. “Your daddy’s been bragging about this all week. But I never believe anything until I see it with my own eyes.”

  Kyle made a face but swapped feet on the bench and went to work. “I got it,” he said, brushing her hands away when she went to help. After a few tries, he hollered “I did it” and took off back to the other kids.

  “You’re good with him,” Brenda said to her.

  “When you grow up without brothers or sisters, everything kids do is entertaining,” Lola said.

  “Well, you’re welcome to take him any time and see all the entertaining things he does.” Mark laughed. “Love that little shit, but can’t say I’m not glad school starts next week.”

  Brenda turned to Johnny. “Wasn’t she good with Kyle?”

  Johnny half rolled his eyes.

  “Aw, come on,” she said. “Indulge me.”

  “Our answer’s still the same,” he said. “Kids cost money. Right, babe?”

  She almost said they were figuring it out. The night before might not have come up again, but Lola hadn’t forgotten anything. Her eyes were now widely open to their inaction. As long as they were ‘figuring it out,’ she and Johnny weren’t doing much of anything. Her chest was tight.

  “There’s never a good time,” Brenda said. “Mark and I were still living at my mom’s when I got knocked up. You just have to go for it.”

  “Maybe Lola’s waiting for Johnny to propose sometime this century,” Mark said.

  “With what, a fucking cucumber?” Johnny asked, visibly irritated.

  “Why not?” Lola asked. “I don’t need anything fancy.”

  Johnny’s fork stopped halfway to his mouth as his eyes cut to her.

  “We could do it here in the park,” she said, sitting up a little straighter. “Maybe Mitch would donate some beer to cut down on costs. It could be a small thing, friends and family only.”

  Brenda clasped her hands together. “That’s a great idea,” she exclaimed. “We’ll find you a vintage dress for next to nothing on Melrose.”

  Lola wasn’t the type to get swept away. She’d never thought much about her wedding day like the girls she knew, but the idea of something simple brought a smile to her face. “That sounds nice, doesn’t it, Johnny?”

  “Sure,” he said as he forked a watermelon chunk. “Tell you what. We’ll pick up a lottery ticket on the way home and if I win, that cucumber’ll have a big, fat diamond on it.”

  Someone laughed uncomfortably.

  Johnny chewed, looking around the table. “What? It was a joke. Except maybe the lottery ticket. Now that is a good idea.”

  Lola blinked at him. “The lottery?”

  “Since when do you play the lottery?” Mark asked.

  “Since today. Might as well. Not like my life is going anywhere.” Johnny squinted into the distance, just beyond Lola. “Brenda, be a doll and pass a lemon square over here.”

  The table got even quieter, but Lola barely noticed. She didn’t care about a wedding, but she didn’t like the way he’d just dismissed her and their life together.

  She ignored Johnny the rest of the meal, which wasn’t hard since he kept to himself. After, she clea
red off the picnic table alone so the other women could get their kids ready to go.

  “Need help with that?” Johnny asked from a few feet away.

  She glanced up at him. “What was that just now? Were you trying to embarrass me?”

  “No, just myself.” He stuck his hands in his back pockets. “Mission accomplished,” he joked.

  She tossed paper plates into a large garbage bag. “I don’t care about a wedding. I thought the park was a nice idea, but that’s all. I don’t need it.”

  “I know you don’t need it. You never need anything or anyone. But you deserve more than this crap.” He gestured at the dirty table. “I want you to have a nice ring and a Hawaiian wedding.”

  “Hawaii?” She rested the bag on the bench. “What are you talking about?”

  “When we were younger, you said you wanted to go to Hawaii one day because it sounded romantic. Remember?”

  “No,” Lola said. “I never think about Hawaii. We could get married at the Pomona Swap Meet for all I care.” She tossed some plastic silverware and resumed cleaning. “We don’t have to get married at all, Johnny. We’ve been fine without it this long. But I’ll tell you one thing—we’re not doing it in Hawaii.”

  “Why not?” he asked.

  “Why would you even want to?”

  “Last night got me thinking about how we never splurge,” Johnny said. “You were right yesterday when you said time off would be good for us.”

  Lola shook her head, grabbed a beer bottle and poured the remains onto the grass. “I think you should forget about last night.”

  After a beat, he asked, “Have you?”

  She dropped the bottle in the bag and picked up another. She didn’t like lying to Johnny and hadn’t forgotten about last night. “No, but I’m trying.”

  “Yeah, well. I don’t blame you. I’d feel pretty special if someone thought my dick was worth half a mil.”

  He clearly had a bone to pick with her. Lola wanted to get to the root of what bothered him, but not when he acted like that. She picked up the garbage bag. On her way past him, she said, “I don’t know what your problem is, but you’re being a real jerk.” She walked briskly to the nearest trashcan and dumped the bag in it. When she turned around, he was behind her.